i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
