Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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