69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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