I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
