Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
