Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
