I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
