why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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