so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
