it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
