my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
