If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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