i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
