are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i think i just lost a toe
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