Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
