Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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