i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
