I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
