I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
