weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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