The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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