honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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