Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
