tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
