why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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