Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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