That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
