Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
