Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
