Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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