Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You took a bar mat shot.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
