Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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