we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize