Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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