So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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