put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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