oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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