We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
