just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize