I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
