using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
