i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
