We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
