I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
