you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
