she told me i tasted like america
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
