That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
