When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Please don't give away my fajitas
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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