we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
how drunk are you?
Several
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
