i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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