One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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