Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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