69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
