Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
