Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
