Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
