It's like God shit irony all over that family
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
