We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize