Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
