just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
