this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
