i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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