Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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