I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
