Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
