its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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