he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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