I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
