well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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