Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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