Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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