things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
