i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
