after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
