your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
